It's one of those days....

I should have just stayed in bed, I think.

It started with a big huge SMACK in the shower. Not the good kind. I hit my head but GOOD on the shelf in there. I actually have a swollen spot across the top of my head. Ow. About cursed a blue streak, too.

Church went okay. The lesson in the women's group today was about how men and women can honor the gospel and strengthen their marriages and their families. That's an okay topic, when they stay on it, because it's true. If both of you do what you should, make the right choices, nurture one another, then you will be on the right path to Happily Ever After. If you both do it....

The trouble comes when a young stay-at-home wife with a new little baby in her arms decides to speak about how families fall apart and children are harmed when a women loses her grip on her priorities and puts her career before her family. "I'm all for education and all that," she said. "But your children have to come first."

Is it really so cut and dry, sweetheart? Really?

This pisses me off.

My marriage did not fall apart because I had a career or education I cared more about. It did not fall apart because my priorities were wrong. It fell apart because no matter how much you do the right thing, you cannot make another person make the right decisions.

I am independent, with a career and education, because relying on my husband for strength and support did. not. work. In any way, shape, or form. I drew a line because my priorities were right. Someone had to be that strength and support for my kids, and it came down to me. I have to be both Mom and Dad to them because Dad is a big ol' effing flake.

So, yeah, sweetheart, it's nice when it all works out that way. But sometimes it doesn't. And it's not always because the woman didn't take care of her home and family first.

I look at New Fella's situation and mine. He's here trying to give his kids the support and strength they need. He's taking care of everyone around him. I'm doing the same thing. What I've been looking for is someone who can respects that, understands that, is capable of taking care of his own crap, but who is okay letting me help take care of him now and again, and who reciprocates that....giving each other that safe place in the middle of the storm.

I do not -- repeat, DO NOT -- want someone to simply take care of me. I cannot give up my autonomy again, and risk a repeat of the disaster that was my life with my ex. I am responsible for me and my kids, and that won't change.

I'm supposed to talk in church, sermon-style, next Sunday. The topic they gave me? Get this.

"Living Happily Ever After."

Yeah, I think I can do 15 minutes on that.