Thursday, October 11, 2007

Crap weekend

New Fella and I chatted tonight about what complete ASS I KICKED in my meeting with the Nursing School people today. It was nice that he cared! His tone sounded odd through the whole conversation, though. So, I finally asked if he was okay. Sure, he said, just tired.

A few minutes later, he said, "Uhm, I won't be around this weekend. I'm going to go to Denver with [daughter]. She has her reunion thing and I'm going to go see [son #2]. We'll probably come back Sunday, so I'll call you then."

Now, understand that I don't begrudge him going to see his son. Quite the opposite. I'd be concerned if he didn't want to go see him. And it'll be his last chance to go until after Thanksgiving. He should go. He should spend some time with him.

But my heart sinks, too. I think I've been a little boring lately, to be honest. I think I've missed too many chances to be demonstrative because of daughter being around. I'd hoped to talk to him a little about these things, or maybe even be more demonstrative despite daughter's presence, this weekend. But that opportunity isn't going to come.

And now I'm afraid he'll go, come back, and realize.....hey, I didn't miss her.

Reasonable or not, that's the thought that will pre-occupy me for the next three days.

UPDATE 10-13-07, 8:55 PM: So far, not so good. I'd hoped the text I sent him would prompt a call, even if it was just a "Hey, I'm leaving and thought I'd call before we got on the road." And maybe, just maybe, he'd want me to know he would miss me, too.... But I guess not. I know he said he'd call on Sunday, but my what is sniggling in my brain is that if he missed me and thought of me, he'd just give me a little call. But I guess not.

Things are not looking at all good.


The HOR blogger said...

OH girl he is SO gonna miss you and is probobly worried that YOU'LL lose interest because of the same stuff. AND he probably blames himself!

But ok I can't blame you even for a 1/4 second - NADA - for being a wee bit sad (or a lot!) that you won't get to hang out with him. God I find MYSELF waiting for the weekends to come for you!! It can't be easy I imagine but it'll be worth it when you guys finaly get some good time together. :)

Blogget Jones said...

It's a little selfish of me, but I was particularly disappointed when I realized that his daughter would be out of town and I could have had him to myself! But it's his last chance to see his son for over a month, and he hasn't seen him since August. If the situation were reversed, I'd have the same priorities. Dangit.

Oh, I hope you're right Hor-gal. I suppose I'm just afraid that my little mistakes will become fatal ones....

I'm pathetic of me, but I sent him a text this morning, wishing them a safe trip and saying I'd miss him. I'm such a sap.

Krissie said...

OK, you obsess, I get that, we all do that. But! Haven't we learnt by now he's not much of a caller? Did he not promise to call and then not call more than once? Just wondering.
Try not to worry, maybe he's just a bit preoccupied with this trip and will call you as soon as he returns to tell you all about it.

Blogget Jones said...

Oh good golly, I'm sounding like my mother.... "If you thought of me, you'd call/write/etc."

Yes, he's bad about calling. And I know that. He doesn't call when expected, and does call when not. I guess I'm just pinning a lot on this particular call, because of the fears I have.

Of course, he's totally unaware of this...and probably should be! It's completely, as a raw nerve.

Again, I hope he proves my fears and my history wrong. In the meantime, I'm on pins and needles....