Friday, February 24, 2006

Pickled update

After standing up cheater-sex-addict guy yesterday, character, rather...received a couple of really angry emails from him about how I was "full of it" and just a "no show." He wrote them while at work, unaware that I'd emailed everything to his wife already.

Well, something happened before this 8:00 CST this morning. That's about the time I received an email from him that said he just wanted to let me know that he wasn't going to be online anymore. He confessed that he'd been seeing a therapist for his "ways" and that being stood up was a "wake up call." He saw the therapist again and decided he won't be chatting or doing anything but being a "good boy." His quote: "I realize I have a good thing at home and dont want to ruin it."

IF he's sincere, I believe this is the best possible outcome for their family. I don't know if he's being truthful. He has two "married but looking" profiles online and one of them is gone this morning. I have no way of knowing if she read what I sent, but I did include those links. The timing sure is coincidental, yes?

So, here's to his reformation! I hope he's sincere, and I hope they can have a "normal" life someday. It'll be rough, but I pray they can make it right.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Revisiting the "fine pickle"

If you missed it, you might want to read the "Here's a fine pickle" post. It's been a little while, but I took everyone's advice and decided to tell that poor woman that her husband is sleeping with anything that'll let him near. It had to be anonymous, though. If this guy could find me, I might be in big trouble.

If it's going to be anonymous, then I'd better have irrefutable proof for her. I set to work on that. I posted a profile he couldn't resist, complete with an X-rated pic of a partially nude woman, that I pulled from an amateur porn site. I wrote about the same kinds of things he put on his profile -- extramarital affairs, the need for discretion, etc. Then, he got a message from this new character I'd created.

He not only took the bait, but he also kept asking for more.

Between the emails and instant messages, I learned so much more that his wife needs to know. He has sex with other women in their car, their home, and their bed. He has sex in his office, after hours. He has sex in all of these places with more than one person at a time. He invited my character to group sex. He asked for really risky types of sex.

What he never asked for was personal information. He didn't want to know real names. I said my character had many, many partners, including strangers. I never mentioned safe sex or being disease free. Neither did he. Don't ask, don't tell.

We arranged to meet today, in a very specific spot. We talked about what kind of sex we'd have and he said it was okay to use his big SUV (no, that's not a euphemism!). I told him I drove a type of car that I've never even been near. Yesterday, I cased the spot and found a few great vantage points. Today, I was early and he was late. He'd been had. As he waited to cheat again, I took pictures of his SUV in the arranged spot, with landmarks in the background that make it unmistakeable, and close-ups of the license plate to seal it. I think I'll include one of the pictures here -- that's him in the SUV, waiting in the romantic locale he picked. Whatta sweetheart.

I wrote her a long email. I explained the transcripts of the emails and instant messages and pictures. I attached the transcripts and the pictures. I found her personal email address on their son's school's PTA site, and then I sent it all along to her. None of the attachments had my information in them.

It's all in her court now. But I wanted all of you to know your advice was heard and taken. Thanks a bunch!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Something fun to do with friends

Okay, so lots of things fall under that category. But that's another topic altogether....

This is one of those nifty personality thingies. Check it out and comment on mine, if you'd like:

I'll add the results HTML here when I start getting results to report.... Have fun! And Thank You for Your Support. ::wink::

Thursday, February 09, 2006

I love being underappreciated

I adore having my hard work and talents overlooked, don't you? That's why I went to school for eight years and paid more than I want to think about. That's why I sacrifice time I don't really have in the first place, to help out where I can -- because it was always a dream of mine to be taken for granted.

Heck, my kids do that for me. I don't need it from anyone else!

So, here's what happened.

Part 1:
I've mentioned before that I'm an active Mom when it comes to schools. They know me, they know my name, they know what I can/can't do. I've held PTA Board positions for four years now. This week, I have a very limited amount of time to do the school newsletter. Usualy not a problem because I have a system in place, which relies heavily on email. People adjusted and now work within it...most of the time.

A teacher calls me about an article she needs to place. She says she'll leave it in the office and I can pick it up there. Uhm, no I can't!! She forgets - I work outside of the home. Dropping by the school is something I have to plan in advance. This is deadline day.

I send her a note and many confusing details transpire, but the moral of the story is that there's nothing in my hot little hand at the end of the day. Er, days. I call and ask her if she can just read it to me over the phone.

"No, I don't think so. There's like...lemme see...5...10...30...40...uhm, 45 names on it."

"Really? That might be a problem. We don't have that much space."

Here's the part that pissed me off.

"Oh, the principal will be angry about that. We did it just fine last year."

First, chickadee, I don't give a rat's bohonkus if the principal is upset. He's not my boss. Let's remember who is doing the favor here. It's no skin off my nose if you do your own stinkin' newsletter.

Second, we did not do it "just fine last year." A quick check confirmed what I thought -- not only was this big list not in the newsletter last year, but there was no article at all about this group!

And I said so. She said, "Oh yes, there was! I wrote it myself!"

"Then it didn't get to me. I looked through every issue and there's nothing."

"Maybe it was on the back."

Do I look stupid to you? Er, do you imagine I look stupid?

"No, I have the computer files. I did the newsletter last year, too."

Her trap shut. I went on to tell her that I didn't know if I had time to type that whole thing. Wonder of wonders, she suddenly found a way to email it to me. In the end, I found a way to fit it in -- in an 8-point font.

Part 2:
We have a new system at work, to help us do the online part of what we do. I personally love it. My boss assigned a group of us to port old material into the new system. I'm the "Project Manager" of this group. I've figured out the nuts and bolts of this process and organized the group so that we're a porting machine! My boss had me head this thing because he has no time for it. I don't think he even knows how to use it. So, when questions come up, I get pulled into the meeting as the "expert." This place is meeting-obsessed.

So, that happened a couple of weeks ago. Two and a half hours of it. We were meeting with some out-of-towners about how to make our new system play nice with another system. At the end of this torment, my boss (who is sitting beside me) says, "I really have to hand it to Programmer 1 and Programmer 2 [names changed to protect the guilty]. If it weren't for their efforts, this system wouldn't have come together. It's due to their hard work that it's up and running."

WTF?!?! What haveI been doing all this time?!?!

As I'm wondering how to point this out without sounding like a big ol' ego-head, I hear someone clear her throat across the room.

"And Blogget [name changed again]. Don't forget that we wouldn't have anything to look at without Blogget putting it together."

My boss startles and looks at me. "Oh yes! Of course! But she loves this stuff."

WTF does that mean? I love doing it, therefore my contribution isn't as significant?

God bless that coworker for speaking up, though. It's good to know someone has your back!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Like a teenager....

...except that I have my own means, and such....

You see, I have a favorite band. I love 'em, love 'em, love 'em. Watching their lead singer gives me very unladylike thoughts. And they just ROCK. Full throttle wall of noise ROCK. I love it, love it, love it.

I have been to one of their concerts, but it was years ago. It totally blew me away. I couldn't get enough. I've been waiting for a fix ever since.

So, here I am, preparing to present a paper at a national conference. Big shot for my career. I'm presenting with colleagues, so they are counting on me and so are the conference people. We're planning the trip and it's all very exciting.

UNTIL I hear an announcement on the radio.

My favorite band is coming! Oh joy! Oh rapture!

...on the day I present at the conference.

God played a funny, funny joke.

Oh agony! Oh despair! It had to be THE day. The EXACT day, when I'll be elsewhere. THEY will be here.

Life is so not fair.

But wait! I'm a resourceful woman and I have friends who understand how I feel about this band.

So, I booked a flight. I'll present, go to a couple of sessions, and duck out early. Fly home. Rock my little heart out at the concert. Catch about 4 hours sleep. Fly back to the conference in the wee hours of the morning and finish the next two days there. I even got a good deal on the flight.

Ha! The best of all possible worlds.

Let's all sing along! "Hey, hey, I wanna be a rock star...."

"Happy Imbolc!" (oh barf...)

I haven't talked about work in a long time, so I'm just sure you're dying to know what's been happening there. (Right....)

A little refresher, first. Here's what I said in my introduction of G:
"G of the "Intelligensia"
G is the newest one. I say "Intelligensia" not because I consider her among their number, but she certainly does. So many nice email discussions have come to a dead halt because she decided to respond in Latin or French, and it disgusted us into silence. We don't like show-offs.

In my experience with her, she has proven her incompetence repeatedly and persistently. For a kicker, she's also a liar and political maneuverer. She pulled a bunch of crap a couple of months ago, trying to take me down, but it all backfired in her face. See, I work above-board and within what I know my bosses will approve. Read: I cover my ass. She's an idiot. A Latin-French-speaking idiot.

She continues to answer things in other languages. Everyone in the office took a personality test. She sent her results to everyone in German. Google had a nifty logo for Mozart's birthday, with a few bars of music on it. She pop-quizzed everyone with "Can you name that key signature?"

How do you make someone with such a pathetic need for attention understand that (A) we just don't care and (B) she doesn't look smart - she looks like an idiot? It drives me out of my skull.

That said, I have to share what was in my email (and everyone else's in the office) this morning.

"Hey, happy Lughnassadh, y ‘all. Or, depending on your preference, happy Vasant Panchami or Imbolc."

You could almost hear a collective "WTF?!" rising from the building.

After the pregnant silence that followed, we got this:
"Think I was wrong about Lughnassadh. Imbolc is right, though. So have a happy one!"

A coworker responded with, "What da hell...?" I cringed. That was it. The moment G was looking for. I think I heard a cackle of delight as she tappity-tapped away at her keyboard.

"Lughnassadh and Imbolc are pagan holidays celebrating the end of seasons; Vasant Panchami is a Hindu festival devoted to Saraswati, the Hindu goddess of knowledge and wisdom (good one for us!). For that you’re supposed to wear yellow, but I forgot."

Oh barf.

Dang, what an idiot.