The shit that happens to me....

I should have known it would happen this way. God has a thing against letting me have happiness. I get an inkling of it, I get hope....I get the carrot dangled for me. Then He yanks it away. I've about come to the conclusion that it's sport to Him to torment me and break my heart.

Yesterday, Greg was to be off of work right at 4:00. He was going to come by my room and we'd make plans for the evening. It was going to be just a quick "Hello" because he had to get his son to his ex at 4:30. Sometimes, if he's late, he misses her and he ends up keeping his son instead.

He also was coming down with a cold, that seemed to be getting worse.

See this coming?

At 4:45, I hadn't heard from him. So, I left a note on my door and drove the two blocks to the restaurant. His car was still there. I decided to find a spot and wait for him to come out. I waited about 10 minutes, then called and asked to speak to him. "He just left," the hostess said.

I pulled out of my space and my heart stopped. The spot where his car had been was empty. I had managed to be looking the wrong direction. He left from the other way. And he wouldn't have known my car -- it's a rental and rather non-descript.

It was 5:00. Chances were that he'd have his son that night, so our plans were off. He still doesn't have a phone because he's footing the bill for daycare right now instead. And the only number he has for me is long-distance from here. Communication is not at all convenient.

So, I did laundry and visited with some old friends here. All the while, something nagged in my gut. He's supposed to work Sunday (today), so I could see him then. But if the universe holds true, something is going to happen and make that impossible.

It did. He had to call in sick.

I know he must be really sick to do that because he's in need of the money. The thing is, he thinks I'm leaving Monday. I'm not. I'm staying one more day. I was going to tell him that yesterday, when we talked after work. He's made the comment to me a couple of days ago, "I wish you were here Monday, too. I'm off that day."

So, he's off. I can't even go to the restaurant and let him know tomorrow.

I'm facing two lonely days now. And one of them wasn't even necessary. He's out there somewhere, and won't even know I'm still here.

The affection between the two of us was really gaining momentum. There's a spark here. Yesterday, a friend of mine was hassling him about having lived in Colorado briefly and still not being a Broncos fan.

"Yeah, but I wasn't there long," he said.

"But you're going to move back, right?" she said, throwing a look at me.

"I'm trying to!" he said, smiling.

But now....well, who knows....