Things I like....and dislike

Dislike:

That my son can be such a jerk. Dang, I am not liking adolescence. He doesn't wear it well. He couldn't find his phone charger last night, so he plugged it into my car charger. This morning, I can't find my keys, so I call him. He swears he gave them to me. But he yells at me. He yells at me. Oh, no no no no, child....your evening just went to crap. And where did I find them? IN MY CAR. I'm sooo lucky I have a car this morning, and all my stuff in it. Then again, people around here leave their houses and cars unlocked all the time. Yow, that makes me too nervous to do....

Dislike:

That New Fella is so bad about the phone. That said, I fully realize that he has a busy life, just like I do. He has some serious issues at home to deal with, too. BUT on his way home from work, he passes through a canyon that doesn't have cell service. We're talking and he says, "Okay, I'm entering the canyon, so I'll call you back when I get out of it." He doesn't. And I knew he wouldn't when he said it. :::sigh::: But if that's my biggest problem, so effing be it. I can handle that.

Like:

The New Fella and I actually have conversations. This was a big complaint I had about my ex. Something would happen or a significant thought would occur to me, and I'd want to talk about it. He'd sit silent while I talked, brow furrowed. When I finished, he's say, "Hm. I'll have to think about that." That's it. Every time. He would NOT think about it! We'd never talk about it again! I'd sit there, feeling foolish for having babbled for no reason. That was frustrating. I wish I'd realized before I married him that the man just was not a thinker.

New Fella is a thinker. He not only remembers what I've said before, he processes what I say and has something to say in return. He gets it. I love having that at the end of the day, the "How was your day?" give-and-take, when you each care what the answer to that question is. It means a lot to me because my whole life is about taking care of what other people need. I know his life is like that, too.

One more "Dislike" -- I hate that feeling of waiting for that other shoe to drop, you know? I haven't been in a relationship yet that didn't have some nasty, heart-wrenching surprise waiting around the next corner. I've learned to anticipate it and can even imagine how it will happen. I've attached a song to that effect below.

I hate that feeling. I wonder if I'm a little bit nutso sometimes. But I'm trying to not let it overrun me. Trying to relax and just trust how things are flowing right now. Trying to be "normal" and not push things, just to reassure my paranoia. Wow, that's hard!

Okay...back to work....


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Now playing: Nickelback - Feelin' Way Too Damn Good
via FoxyTunes