....is complete crap.
I knew we were in trouble when I talked to New Fella this afternoon and he was getting his oil changed and eating a late lunch with his daughter. I think he'd hoped she'd be at work today....but that obviously didn't happen.
So, I did a little shopping with my daughter. I have to get some new clothes because I've dropped 30 lbs since moving, and nothing fits anymore. She needed some new school clothes, too. And I had coupons! God love coupons.
I finally got to talk to him about our plans, late in the afternoon. He said they thought (keyword "they") they'd wait for his son to get off work and we could all go to the movies. Ah, I see. The kids (although adult kids) are present. We will not be alone.
Or has he changed his mind? I told him to let me know if he wanted to finish what we started last week.... Maybe that was too forward? Too aggressive? Maybe he's letting me know he doesn't want to. By the time that thought crosses my mind, my self-doubt has re-emerged and is strong as ever. He doesn't want you. He's just being nice. He isn't all that interested anymore. And the self-beating and self-loathing begins again.
So, I go to his house and finally meet his daughter, his oldest child. She's almost 30 and we can visit about ex-husbands. We watch some TV, waiting for his son to be off work so we can all go out. This is where the trouble started.
Son isn't off work when he's supposed to be. In the meantime, daughter discovers that son has lost her car keys. She's pissed beyond belief, and mad at herself for letting him borrow the car. Son is very late off work, and we miss the movie time. We decide to order pizza and watch a movie at home.
On one of our first dates, we saw Part 3 of a popular action series. I hadn't seen Parts 1 and 2 yet, so we watched Part 1 tonight. All the while, son and daughter are stalking through the house, looking for the missing keys and being pissed as hell at each other. The tension is palpable. New Fella is tense because he's also pissed at son for not getting home on time, for losing the keys, and being reluctant to help look for them.
Throughout the evening, when I visited the restroom, I'd about want to cry. I looked gorgeous tonight, if I may say so myself. New blouse with a nice scoop neck, flattering on my figure, great hair day....all a good mix of sweet with a touch of sexy. And it's all being wasted on a crappy evening, where nothing good can happen. He's way too stressed and distracted.
If it weren't for him talking about us watching Part 2, then seeing part 3 again, I would doubt that he wanted to see me again. Seriously.
When I left, he was walking like a man in pain, and I said so. He said he's always sore. He has arthritis medication, but it doesn't take the pain away completely. I understand that, but right then and there wasn't the time to go into my bout with Junior Rheumatoid Arthritis as a teenager, blah, blah.
So, we had a nice kiss, but nothing too intense. When I backed out of the driveway and looked up, he was already gone. He promised to call tomorrow, but I'm not holding my breath. I think this weekend is in the crapper.
I don't often say this, but.....shit.
6 comments:
That sucks that things didn't turn out like you had hoped, but don't get discouraged. He obviously had a bad day and was stressed and in pain, all things that had nothing to do with you. Don't assume anything negative about his feelings for you just based on this one day.
I bet he calls today. :o)
You're probably right, Ellen. I'm really struggling against myself, to not personalize things. I'm fighting my upbringing, which is to think "if you really thought of me (etc.), then you'd so this and such...." It's crazymaking thinking.
I talked to him a moment ago, but it was short and had no indication of us getting together today. However, it's also the second quarter of the Broncos game. I've heard advice that women should not expect any depth of communication from a sports-fan-type of guy in the middle of "the game." They just don't multi-task that way. So, this is what I'm trying not to personalize right now.
Trying. I'm sad and distracted right now. I don't like second-guessing myself. Oh, to read minds! How many women have wished for that?? LOL!
Thanks for your encouragement, Ellen! I'll keep you posted ;o)
Nothing like kids to ruin the moment eh? I had hoped since mine were still young this would pass as they left for college. You've crushed that. Thanks! LOL
My thoughts on the matter are that perhaps, as you mentioned before, it was the end of a really long stressful week. His kids were about, and he's obviously a very family oriented person since he didn't bat an eyelash about them "interupting" your date time. I would say don't over analyze it, but perhaps it wouldn't hurt to be forward with him. Let him know that you want some "alone" time.
Maybe an invite to dinner for two at your place. Tell him dress comfortable and bring the wine (unless one of you doesn't drink). It doesn't get much more suddle than that. If excuses comes up, or he'd rather go somewhere public then perhaps you might need a new set of green eyes because he's obviously thinking something else of the relationship than where you want to be.
Thanks Sgt. I like your suggestion...but my place has MY kids! And mine are younger than his. However, I think you're right about needing to ask him about us getting time for just us. We make weekend plans at the end of the week, so that would be the best time to bring it up.
Or maybe we're back to the slow pacing he seems to like? I'm not sure. I hate all this guessing, and I'm really trying not to over-analyze things. You can probably see how I'm bad about that!
Thanks again, and sorry for shattering the dream of a kidless home!
FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. You're ok with swearing right? :) Awww It's ok blogget. I'm sorry that you brought sexy back and it got stompped but I'll bet that he really DID just get wrapped up in everything.
And ya know, I know from experience that sometimes when I want a little alone :) time it seems so often like family or friends or work comes up and says "NUH-HU!!" Maybe one of his kids were putting some pressure on him to spend some time with them or MAYBE they really wanted to both get to meet you and figured this weekend would be GREAT (not knowing of the nookie plans)
And shoot just think about how cool it is that he is comfy enough to intro you to his kids. For me that would really say something.
But dang it I know KNOW what a downer that kind of thing can blow up and be. DANG it especially to waste a good SEXY day!! :) Yeah, that weekend was sucky but I'm thinkin there will be more in store for you.
Just make sure that you don't let this one thing put such a hitch in you get-a-long that you end up making HIM think that YOU don't like him or his kids.
Ok, I'm done, let's wait 'im out :)
I'm especially okay with swearing in this case :o) LOL
I'd met his son before, but not his daughter. She's been out of town until this past week, so it's likely that she wanted time with her Dad. You're right -- it's good that he's comfortable with us all hanging out together.
I've been thinking today that I'll just settle down and wait 'im out, like you said. See where the "signs" lead me, and not push the issue too much. It was a tense evening, and I need to see how it is under normal circumstances.
Still....the "lady flower" is disappointed....aw well. Waiting is good, right? lol
Thanks!
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