Monday, September 17, 2007

This just in....

A bizarre thought just occurred to me. I have no idea how a "normal" dating relationship goes. I have crossed into uncharted waters in Blogget-world.

Even if this thing with New Fella falls apart, we've set a record. This is the longest I've consistently dated one guy without him proposing to me. Seriously.

My high school boyfriend wanted to marry me after a few days. It was that moon-eyed, puppy-love, "I can't live without you by my side ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME" infatuation. Yick.

Then, my now-ex came along. He bought my engagement ring two weeks after we met, and proposed two weeks after that.

My first boyfriend after my divorce also waited a scant handful of weeks before promising undying devotion and asking me to marry him. Then again, I think he was doing so just to prove that he really did love me more than the skank he cheated on me with.

Then we arrive at old BF. Who asked for my hand the day after we met. He wanted me to grab up my kids and move in with him that very day. Should've seen trouble coming with that....

This Friday will mark six weeks since my first date with New Fella (not that I'm one to count such things...). A new record ;o)

And you know what? It makes me nervous because it's unfamiliar to me, to be this far out and not have a blatant expression of his feelings, intentions, etc., towards me. I don't like guessing, but I'm thinking I'm not supposed to have all the answers up-front. I have to let go of my impatience and my "need to know NOW" personality.

But I have this feeling of doing things "right" this way, like the rest of the world seems to know to do.

So, one way or the other, New Fella has taught me something. It's a little scary, but I think it's okay.

13 comments:

Krissie said...

I don't have all that much experience but it seems more "normal" to date someone longer than one week or month before you get engaged.
So not knowing his intentions? Better than rushing into things.

Blogget Jones said...

I do believe you're right. Now, don't get me wrong -- just because they proposed doesn't mean I said yes!

This thought really came as a shock to me. I really don't know how to deal with a normal pace, or even how to recognize it. There's a big slice of perspective for me.

Lindystar the HOR blogger said...

Oh Blogget it's a wonderful thing! He's actually mature enough to want to REALLY for REAL get to know each other thouroghly before jumping into something as huge as marrige. He's got a good head on his shoulders. AND it's been 6 weeks and he's still in to you so I wouldn't worry about not receiving grand declarations of love. Most people I know wait a year to get engaged. (sometimes much longer and the ones that do it after only 6 months everybody looks at like their crazy)

Don't worry about LOVE coming up too soon, just enjoy the time you have now, the time before you have to worry about huge life changes and commitments.

And on the hor side of things THANK GOODNESS he's not pulling out rings yet cuz you haven't seen what he has to "offer" *ahhhheeemmmm* yet. ;)

Sgt said...

I'm curious what sort of spell your weaving on those guys. Must be some good stuff!

Blogget Jones said...

Hor-gal, you're right. This is something I need to adjust to and enjoy. I'm so busy trying to read the signs, second-guessing myself and him, and sweating the details that I think I'm missing the big picture here. And the big picture is that it's all still coming together...it doesn't HAVE to mean anything yet. We enjoy each other's company. We like to touch-base at the end of most days. I need to learn to relax and let that be enough.

And it's not like I don't have time for it to simmer for awhile. My biological clock is gone. I do not WANT to be married again anytime soon. Someone pushing for that would only complicate my life right now.

Dang, do I know how to borrow trouble or what? And why? I think that's another post altogether!

Thanks for helping me keep perspective :o)

Blogget Jones said...

Sgt -- what can I say? I have my talents ;o)

(just kidding -- well, at least for a married man, I am!)

Seriously, though, I tend to be the kind of girl who takes care of her man. I'm not subservient at all, but I'm giving. I think they like knowing someone wants to make them happy and comfortable, but she has her own brain and means. My independence is a little scary to them, too -- they know that I have other options, if they don't speak up about wanting me to stay. Just my own little theory.

KP said...

You & I sound an awful lot alike. My ex proposed after 5 weeks. But that was not even close to my 1st proposal. My current guy & I have been dating for 6 months. At first I was like HEY... where is my proposal? But I am SOOO glad we are taking our time. As you know (also as a mom to a teenager) I have NO desire for more kids. So, no rush. Enjoy!!

Blogget Jones said...

Yes, KP, exactly! And you're right -- we have a lot in common!

Don't you just looooove dealing with teenagers?

Thanks!

Lindystar the HOR blogger said...

Any plans for this weekend???? Hmmmm??? ;)

Blogget Jones said...

LOL Hor-gal! Not yet. We don't start talking about the weekend until it's almost upon us! So, let's all keep our fingers crossed....

Is it wrong to pray for sex? ;o)

Sgt said...

If it is, I'm going to hell for sure!

Blogget Jones said...

....I'll be in the handbasket with you, Sgt!

Sgt said...

Excellent! If I have to go to eternal purgatory, might as well have good company.