Flirty fun

When I picked up my daughter from her dad's last night, she hadn't had dinner. I told her to pick anywhere she wanted to go. To my absolute delight, she picked waiter Greg's place of employment. (Seriously - with no intervention from me!)

We walked in and I asked if he had a table available. The hostess smiled and started to lead us, but then reached past me....to hand the menus to Greg. He's smiling and seats us.

He jumped into a conversation we'd had earlier, as though it hadn't ended. He had been lamenting having rent due and being plagued with low tippers all week. "So get this," he says, leaning on the table. "I had this big table and one guy said he'd pay for the whole thing. An $89 ticket. He leaves me two bucks, after saying what a great job I did."

"That really sucks," I said.

Then he turned to my daughter and said, "So how's it going? How's Riverdance-line-dancing, Irish whatever it is?" I'd told him about her talent for Irish dancing, and he knew I'd gone to see an Irish band last night.

She giggles. She thinks he's cute, and his rapid-fire manner of speaking cracks her up. "You mean Irish dancing? It's fine. But I didn't go hear the band," she says. "I've been at my dad's."

He scurries away to get our drinks. "He's funny, Mom," she says. "I think he really likes you."

"I think so, too." We consult our menus. He brings drinks, tosses straws at my daughter, and is away again.

Soon, he's leaning on the table again. He gestures to a table of young women, obviously celebrating the birthday of a girl wearing a crown and sequined dress. "They've been here almost two hours. I have another table that's been here three hours." I know what he's saying. He needs to turn tables quickly. He's at the end of his shift (we were his last table), and the last few customers just camp out.

Personally, when I do something like that, I compensate the waiter for lost tips from customers who would have occupied my seat. But most people don't think of that. And he doesn't realize that I'm in a unique position at the moment of being able to help that situation.... I make note to be generous on his tip from us.

He notices my daughter's unwrapped straw on the table. "So, what's the deal," he says with mock haughtiness. "Too good for my straw?" She giggles, then shrugs. "Commie," he says and scurries away again. I have to explain the term "commie," but she still thinks it's funny. I pick up the wrapped straw and drop it into an empty soda glass, where it starts soaking up melted ice.

"I'm telling him that was your idea," she said. He walks by and without slowing or glancing at us, snags the straw and flips it across the table.

"She did that," she tattles later. He looks at me with mock hurt, saying how mean I am.

He stops (very briefly) to chat several times. My daughter says, "I wonder what his schedule is here? Help a table, see you, help another table, see you...."

I found out that dear waiter Greg is a cat person. "What's your cat's name," I ask. He gives me a funny look. "K.B." I ask the inevitable question, "And that stands for....?"

The funny look deepens. "Kitty Butt." My daughter breaks into laughter. "I know, I'm sorry. It's all I could come up with at the time." And he's off again.

"Desserts?" he asks, later. My daughter says no. He looks at me and says, "You had a dessert earlier and you're being mean. You're cut off." I widen my eyes and look up at him. He melts, "I don't mean it. You can have whatever you want!"

He leans to my daughter conspiratorially, "I'm secretly hitting on your mom." And he's away again.

She dissolves into hysterics. "That's just weird! 'Hitting on' and ' your mom' shouldn't be in the same sentence!"

He brings the ticket, and says he'll see us again soon. From behind my daughter, be pantomimes, "Especially you!" And he's gone. I leave a very generous tip, and we make our exit before he sees it.

I'm supposed to go hang out there again this afternoon, when things are a little slower. My daughter has decided to spend our last night here with her dad, to squeeze out a little more time with him. Greg has asked if I am free each night since meeting, and tonight I am. We'll see how it goes.

Then, it's back home, and back to reality.