Sunday, March 03, 2013

New Year's Resolution Going Badly

So, I resolved to blog more in 2013.  That's going about as well as the resolution to not procrastinate.

Last year had some big events that I didn't write about.  I'll try to do a good synopsis here and, once again, get better about writing.  I really, really need to be better at it, dear Diary, because it's a good outlet when things are swirling.

We've had ups and downs, but Jacob and I are still together.  Same living arrangement, with Daughter and I in the little house and Jacob and girl(s) in the main house.  We have our communal evenings and meals together, with our pets in tow.  We have my dog, his dog, and his cat - now that his ex has seen fit to release his pets to him since she's had a new baby.  The baby's arrival seems to have made things a little topsy-turvy for his Youngest at her mother's house, but things at our house are stable.  We have a unique family, but we've formed a family, nonetheless.

One major change on that front, though: his Oldest is no longer living with him.  This was a months-long heart-wrenching saga, that ends badly.  It started when she went on her annual visit to see her mother for part of the summer.  Actually, in hindsight, it started years before that when her grandmother started maneuvering the situation, but this is when her plan came to fruition.  Long story short, the woman has controlled the lives of her children until they are crippled as functional members of society, except for the one who found another continent to be a safe haven from her.  Now, she's turned that attention to her grand-daughter.

She moved here and started having weekends with the child.  You've heard of Disneyland Dads?  This is the grandma version.  The child was showered in mani-pedis, clothing, puppies, and gifts.  Yes, I said puppies.  Plural.  Where would any 11-year-old choose to be?  To make herself feel better about shafting Jacob, she rewrote history to paint our household as one of near-neglect, when quite the opposite is true.  Sure, we can't afford a lot (like mani-pedis, racks of clothing, and puppies), but all the children are educated and supported in their unique interests, and our evenings are filled with good food and laughter. No one wants for love and support.

Long story short (I keeps saying that!), we no longer hear from her at all.  Oldest is now 12 and has the legal right to choose, but someday, she's going to be told no and there will be hell to pay.  I'm sure we'll hear from grandma when she has a petulant teenager on her hands.  Jacob has made it clear that he's always here for his child, but she'll have to let him know when she needs him.

For my kids, Son decided to try living in San Diego for awhile, which is where my sister was living.  He wanted to do oceanography, but the poor kid gets seasick!  When my sister's husband was transferred to Virginia, Son decided to try that instead.  He'll start school again there soon, but is doing well with working for now.  He's 21 now, which bowls me over every time I think about it.  We have a great time with him when he comes for a visit, but he's still strongly independent.

Daughter is about to graduate from high school.  She bowls me over, too.  She's such a spectacular young woman.  I wish I'd been as level-headed and solid in purpose as she is.  A girl of many creative talents, she's decided she wants to be a college professor.  She's headed to college in the Fall, and I really don't know how I'll cope with her absence.  Our relationship is incredibly close, but I understand her need to be her own person now.  It's time for that.  But I'm Mommy.

Work has had a major upheaval.  That might actually warrant another post of its own....  Many changes and lots of hard work.

And another post for health news.  Another area of major change!


2 comments:

Angella said...

it's great to see you! Congrats on your daughter graduating high school and things going well with your son. I'll wait for the further updates but glad to know that you're okay.

Blogget Jones said...

So sweet of you, Angella! More updates are surely to come. Glad to be back at it! Thanks!!!