Friday, June 06, 2008

Layers of love in my life

Here's how the end of the week has played out.

Ranger met with a judge last Thursday morning. Of course, his recommendation is to plead "No Contest with stipulations," and pay the $500 fine. He wants Ranger to turn over his documentation of irregularities at the Park to the proper authorities. And he's investigating what happened to Ranger's $700.

But Ranger's panic over something screwy happening and being arrested again is unfounded. He's all right. That relieved a lot of the stress I'd heard in his voice last Wednesday. He sounded much better when he called Thursday morning. So, I'm relieved, too.

However, he did manage to set off his ex. He informed her (just after the stressful call to me on Wednesday) that should he be taken into custody again, he had signed Power of Attorney over his affairs to me. The actual act of doing that really caused his distress because he hates to put such a burden on me, but that was a separate issue. In a nutshell, his ex was pissed.

See, she would dearly love the opportunity to sell his rock shop inventory and keep the proceeds. So when she heard that I could actually be in a position to do the same, she lost it. "Fine, do that," she said. "And just make sure your children have nothing."

Yes, indeed. She's accusing yours truly, Blogget Jones, of greed equal to her own. And beyond. The only time she's spoken to me, I was offering all the strings I had available to pull to get her son home to her. I'm a Mom. I understood her worry.

So, that comment of hers didn't sit well, but go figure. Ranger almost didn't tell me because he was so afraid of how mad I'd be. But I handled it well! (Patting myself on the back.) All I did was call her a selfish bitch. And not even to her face. See? I was good!

Thursday, I had a last lunch at Friday's before heading to the airport. Greg apologized for wimping out the night before. I apologized for my tearful mood. He gave me a "don't be ridiculous" look and said, "Not your fault. You had too much coming at you at once."

I told him about the call I got after I went back to the hotel, that just made it worse. Old BF was pulling on me what Greg's ex had been pulling on him. "Come back to me! I need you! I can't handle my life without you!" Then, he pulled some guilt trips, and I was just too emotionally worn out to handle that. I didn't feel guilty, but I felt bad all the same.

Greg told me he'd made a decision about his ex, too. "I told her that I'll help her when I can financially, but there's nothing else. I don't even want her to talk to me. She wants me to sleep with her because she knows that if I give in to that, I'll give in to everything else."

He paused. "See, if I sleep with someone, it's too emotional for me." He threw a glance at me, and looked down. "I'm just not one to jump into bed with someone." That struck us both as funny.

"You're different," he said, smiling and putting an arm around me. "I wanted you so bad from the moment I saw you. I've never been that way about anyone else."

"Yeah, I remember the first time I saw you," I said, smiling. "I thought, wow, he's cute. But then you seemed indifferent to me, so I called Stella. But you corrected that perception."

"How so?"

"When you sat down and started talking to me. I realized you weren't so indifferent, and I'd just have to call Stella later."

He laughed. Having my affection and friendship seems to mean a lot to him. I learned a lot about Greg during this trip. He spoke more freely to me, more as a friend. He told me how much he enjoyed my company. He told me about his mother, who had him at sixteen. His real father deserted her, and Greg never knew him. She had three other children by the time he was seven. Then, she sent him to live with someone else, in another city. He tried to reconcile with her when he was 17, but it didn't work and he hasn't spoken to her since. "I still don't know why she didn't want me, but kept the other kids," he said. My heart broke for him.

The strange thing is that almost the same scenario happened to my own father. He was adopted by his aunt at the age of seven, leaving his four half-siblings with his mother. Odd coincidence, isn't it?

A friend came to meet me for lunch. We talked about Ranger when Greg was out of earshot. No reason to rub that in.

We also talked about Greg, and I quietly updated her on his chaos. And Greg visited frequently. At one point, we talked about his upcoming birthday. He'll be 29 this year, and I finally revealed my own age.

"I have a big birthday this year," I said.

"You'll be 30 this year!" Greg exclaimed.

I laughed. "Oh, you're very sweet," I said. "But no."

Greg furrowed his brow. "35?"

"Still sweet. But no."

His furrow got deeper. "36?"

I laughed again. "Yeah, the Big 3-6 you always here about."

He looked confused. "40? Are you going to be 40?"

I nodded. "You got it."

He was surprised. Bless him.

"When are you coming back?" he asked, and my friend wanted to know, too.

"I don't know," I said, honestly. "I have to go to Vegas in July...."

He turned to my friend. "It's my birthday and SHE is going to Vegas. Isn't that nice?" He was joking, but I realized that I actually do leave ON his birthday. Ranger and I leave, rather.

It was time for me to go. Greg put an arm around me again, but held me to him this time. "I can't give you a full hug or you might miss me too much." He winked.

With that, I headed home. A long day of traveling, and Ranger picked me up at the airport. I was so happy to see him that I started to cry. I wanted to drop my bags and run to him, but I'm sure that would be slightly alarming to the security people. He held me, kissed me, touched me like he just couldn't stand to have air between us. And I soaked up each moment. No one has ever loved me as completely as this man does.

The only person more overjoyed to see me was my daughter. She waited, sleeping in my soft bed. I walked in and watched her for a moment before she woke up. She was snuggled into my quilt (it was a chilly night at 42 degrees), surrounded by all the dolls and stuffed animals from our recent trip together.

My heart is indeed full.

2 comments:

Walker said...

You can't say life is boring.
Exs just add to the action LOL

Just think in Vegas you can just have fun and play

Blogget Jones said...

Oh, I'm planning on that! And you're so right about the exes. They are part of the rollercoaster :o)