Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Sing along! "It's the most stressful time of the year..."

First, let me say that my Secret Santa is really good at being a Secret Santa! Well, except the "Secret" part. I know who it is because I held the front door open for her today and saw the shopping bag with a gift inside. I couldn't see the gift, but the same shopping bag was delivered to me today, with my gift bag inside. Hmmm... ANYHOW, she's perfect. She's really made an effort to shop for stuff for me, specifically. It's great to know someone is thinking about you.

Good news: I'm about finished with Christmas shopping. Bad news: It's not even the 15th of the month and my budget is obliterated. eBay, here I come! That'll add about, oh, $4 to my pocket. I'm broker than broke and half a month to go. Bummer.

Life has thrown me a few more cherry pits, and I'm in desperate need of a sounding board. You know, someone who cares about you and your trials and wants to help you with that burden by listening and giving advice, if needed. Usually, that's a significant other. So, I talk to Boyfriend about what's on my head right now. He makes a vague comment or two then it's back to that ol' Toby Keith song.

You know the one. It goes:

"I wanna talk about ME!!!"

I'm not sure he even heard me, and he sure as H-E-double-hockey-sticks won't give it a second thought. It's all mine and mine alone to figure out.

Thanks for the support. Sweetie. You know, this isn't the person he used to be. What's more is that I said the exact same thing about my husband, right before seeking out a divorce lawyer.


Parenthetical Thinker said...

So, you're divorced? Most interesting.

Blogget Jones said...

Ooooh..."interesting" is such a safe word....

Yes, I'm divorced. Married 7 years. Divorced 7 years. Here's the long story short on that. He's not a well man, mentally. And he's become an increasingly obnoxious man, even after the divorce. He did a lot of things behind my back (financial; not cheating) that about ruined me. He also made me feel worthless and unwanted. Still, there are things you'll tolerate for the sake of a marriage. I drew the line when it spilled over to my children. No one should grow up feeling like that.

That's it, in a peapod. Not that anyone asked, but it's my blog and I'll babble if I want to!

Parenthetical Thinker said...

I only asked because I too am divorced. Recently, however. Not 7 years ago. But, it was a 13 year relationship all told. Not high-school sweet hearts, but close enough.

So, I meant not to pry. I can see you are into the anonymous thing, as I am to a certain degree, too. I don't mention names on my site, but any of my close friends, some of who read, can pick out the actors in my little melodrama. I respect your right to control your identity.

Blogget Jones said...

You're not prying! Believe me, if I don't want to answer something, I'll say so. But I'm nice about it! If it's too touchy to put here, I'll reply privately. I'm a fairly open book here.

This blog is like yours in that if certain people find it, they'll know who's writing this and who it's about. They also might be shocked by some of it! I've not always been the angel they think I am.

So, ask away! It's fine with me. I don't offend easily.

My advice to you is that if your divorce is recent, give it time before looking for someone new. You don't get rid of your baggage, but time makes it lighter to carry.

Parenthetical Thinker said...

I am in the catch-22 I usually am. I know I need to be and want to be single. It's for my own good. However, I also want and need the company (emotional, sexual, social) of a woman - preferably, multiple women (not all at once, though...). So, I struggle to maintain my independence while dating 2 or 3 other women at the same time. I actually have 4 current "date" girlfriends, some more close than others. It helps to keep you distant by having so many. I think that's the discovery I've made recently - more than one is a man's way to avoid committment. Right now - I need to avoid it, despite want to jump into the next big romance.

Blogget Jones said...

I know exactly what you mean! When I was first divorced, I craved the companionship I'd missed in my marriage for a long time. I found that in a relationship with someone who ended up pressuring me to get married, but he also wanted to see other women. That didn't jive for me. Imagine that.

I certainly knew that I didn't want to get married again. You're right -- seeing more than one person, and making sure they all know they aren't the One-And-Only, keeps committment at arm's length. But I'm sure you're aware enough to be cautious without me diving into the particulars here!