Updates and Observations

In short, I'm hanging in there, mostly because I have no choice.  I'm so tired of silence and conversation with my dog.  It's a little one-sided.  But the weeknights pass slowly and quietly, one into the other.  My "oneness" is heavy, sometimes, and it makes me tired.  I crave laughter.  Shared laughter.

I think I'm still trying to find salve for my wounds.  The salve I seek is the knowledge that I'm still cared for, that I'm worthwhile.  So, I look for signs of that.  

I had an egocentric moment the other day, and thought how Jacob is fortunate that I value him as I do.  And that I'm not an unreasonable, vindictive person.  Well, this blogs stands as witness to times when I have been that way, but I have a different sensibility now.  He might not have liked what I said when I was mad, but there was a kernel of truth in it.  Anyone bitchier might lash out and cause problems, but I see no good in that for anyone.  Quite the opposite, and I really do value him and his friendship.  How he handles his relationships is his concern, and not for me to question or speculate about.

I'm still good for support when wanted or needed, one way or the other, in good times and bad.  Whatever happens.  Some say I'm loyal to a fault.  I just don't seem to be needed so much anymore.  It's a lot to come to grips with at once, but I'm making a valiant effort, honestly.

I've been dating a little, as I've mentioned.  I turned down a Valentine's date because it was the bossy guy.  I just can't live with that, so there's no need in wasting anyone's time or leaving the wrong impression.  Let's be honest, being romanced on Valentine's Day would be very nice, but it would be unkind to lead someone on just to have that.  I don't want to be unkind.

So, I had Valentine's dinner with my parents.  While out with them, I received a text from a man I've seen a couple of times, who lives about an hour away.  He said, "Be careful if you let your dog out on the porch!"  And when I got home, I found chocolate dipped strawberries and a sweet card on my doorstep.  Talk about warming my heart and making a day brighter!  I wish I'd been home!

The next day, I had a very casual date for the movies and a dinner date the following day.  Being in the online dating world is a little weird, but so many people find themselves single with very few avenues for meeting anyone.  That's me.  I work a lot.  I don't do the bar scene.  Maybe this is becoming more common?

But I've made some observations about how people present themselves on dating sites.  It's a constant surprise to me, and I really wish someone would write a "dos and don'ts" manual for those embarking on this virtual world.  I mean, it's supposed to be best foot forward, right?

I have some suggestions for them to include:

DO
1. Smile at the camera.
2. Put the light in front of you.
3. Actually fill out the question and answer section.
4. Be honest. As much as I hate the "All I want is sex" profiles, at least I know where I stand.
5. Use an actual picture of you.

DON'T
1. Use your wedding picture.  (Oh, the things you don't think you have to say.)
2. Use a cartoon character's picture.
3. Use a famous actor's picture.
4. Use a picture of your dog, car, motorcycle, or farm equipment.  (Yes, I've seen farm equipment.)
5. Try to look so serious. It comes out looking scary.
6. Use a blurry picture.
7. Obscure your face. Lose the sunglasses, hats, and do-rags.
8. Pose with dead animals.

And if you're thinking, but Blogget, these are no-brainers!  Guess again.  I speak from what I've really seen.

Maybe I should write that dating manual….