Jacob was good about asking me how I was doing during those days. He knows my tendency to worry. It was particularly good of him because he was going through his own hard time - serving on a jury for a murder trial that involved the deaths of children. I knew he was seeing things he'd wish he could unsee, but he still thought to check on me. That meant a lot to me.
He also learned that I've been spending a lot more time alone than he realized. He thought that because I had dates, I was busy a lot. I haven't been. I spend many evenings on my own, in the silence that seems to be slowly destroying my spirit, in the most agonizing way. I don't know that the phone will make any more noise than it has, though.
Anyhow, the mammogram tech showed me the first set of pictures, and that there was a shadow of something in one view, but it couldn't be seen in another. They called it an "island of tissue." They took more pictures. I waited as the radiologist looked at them. And they took more pictures. Then, he ordered an ultrasound. Then, he redid the ultrasound himself.
And they couldn't find what was making the shadow. They found a tiny cyst, but that's it. Check back in six months, but I should be okay. No telling what it was, but they're not worried about it. Whew!
I had a little coffee date last night. I've been talking with this man for a little while, and we decided to meet. He doesn't live here, so we have to do some planning to get together. That's been the case with a few of my dates lately, that there's an hour or more between us. I'm trying to decide if I like that or not. At least they won't be driving around, looking for my house.
Initially, he just wanted someone to talk to about nerdy stuff. There's something I'm good for! I can do nerdy all day. Actually, I already do nerdy all day - I can't help it. I'm thoroughly a geek. Anyhow, pretty soon it evolved into some nice flirting. He calls me Temptress, and I like that.
So…what's the catch? There's always a catch, isn't there, dear Diary? He is married. They have a poly-amorous relationship, and she's seeing someone. So, it's all above-board. Still, it's something for me to think about in terms of what I want, what I need, the future, etc. But for the moment, I have enjoyed him. Face-to-face, he's funny, intelligent, and attractive. And he seems to think the same of me. It was just coffee, so we'll see what happens. I will certainly keep you updated!
On the sexual front, another friend of mine wants me to join a threesome with him and a tgirl, soon. I'd have to make a trip to the Front Range, but he wants to foot the bill for me. I could certainly see drowning my woes in a weekend of pleasure. It's something to think about, for sure.
As you know, dear Diary, there's not much I won't talk about here. That said, I must censor myself for a bit, due to recent events. I'll have to table some stories and emotions and thoughts that I have pent up. Bear with me that if I start telling a story, and you think you might have missed something, it probably is because I've had to skip something. I'll come back around to it eventually, I'm sure. For the sake of those I care about, I just can't explore some things for awhile. It saddens me, but it must be that way.
Jacob and I had a glorious Saturday afternoon at the nail salon. I have gotten just one manicure and one pedicure in my life. The manicure was for my wedding in 1990, and the pedicure was a treat for myself while on a business trip in 2004. But Saturday, we had manicures AND pedicures. The kind with pretty smelling masks, lotions, and even hot stones. And a massage chair. And it was heavenly. I'm so thankful that we had that time. I need it again.
I smile every time I see my painted toes. My toes are never painted!
And I'll sign off with a picture of my sweet dog. Even though he doesn't want to hear from me, I thank God every day for her love and companionship.
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