Sunday, March 08, 2015

The Retinaville Horror

Okay, so maybe it's not that bad.  It's just what comes to mind when I think of dripping blood.

Back in December, I was winding down a normal night, getting myself and my dog settled into bed.  All of a sudden, I saw something quite strange.  A dark bit in my vision.  And then another.  And another.  They formed drips that travelled across my vision in one eye.  As they spread out, I could tell they were actually red.

Blood.  Dripping in my eye.

Don't you know, I wasted no time calling the doctor.  My primary doctor called a opthalmologist, who saw me the next day.  He checked things out and said he'd refer me to a retina specialist.  I was having retinal hemorrhages and, apparently, not for the first time.  For a long time.  I just happened to see this one.

The retina specialist confirmed the worse.  My eyes were bleeding from the inside, and lots of damage had been done.  The blood was settling in my eyes as dark cobwebs across my vision.

By New Year's, I couldn't drive more than a few blocks anymore.  I started inverting colors on my computer and enlarging text on my phone.  I've gotten to know the visual accwaaibility features on my techie devices.  I've learned what web sites are accessible to the visually impaired and which ones are not.

One thing that has not happened is that I have not given up.  I find ways to make things work.  I use the tools technology gives me to make it work.  I use magnifying glasses when needed.  I feel my way when I can.  When all else fails, I ask for help.  Nothing is wrong with that.  I find people gladly point things out or read something to me, when needed.

To bring the swelling down and keep the bleeding to a minimum, I've had a few injections in my eyes.  Go ahead and shiver at that.  It's a freaky thing to experience!  Sharp objects are not supposed to be near your eye! Oogie.

The damaged tissue in my eyes is beginning to pull on my retinas and cause detachments.  So, a few weeks ago, I had surgery on one eye to correct it.  With the other eye still cobwebby, it rendered me legally blind for a few weeks.  I'm getting back to (close to) normal now, which is how I'm making this post :o)

I'll go back to work on a limited basis…until the next surgery is done in a few weeks from now.  I'm still using the accessibility features, but improvements are happening. I haven't seen this clearly from the surgery eye in months.  We'll see how it settles out, which the other one gets the same treatment.

For me, the loss of independence is the worst.  I'm living by myself and relying on others to help me get where I need to go or bring what I need.  The boredom of the days alone gets to me.  Daytime TV is the worst!  I'm so done saying yes to the dress, I've counted all 19 kids, and I know that being 600 pounds is not a life.

Thank goodness for my phone and Skype!  People can call and message me, to help break the monotony of recovery.  While I adore my dog and treasure her companionship, she's not much of a conversationalist. She has quite a collection of toys to entertain us with tug-of-war and fetch!

All of this makes my sweet boyfriend a little crazy.  He would give anything to be here, with me - the one he calls his Wonder Woman, to be of help and be together.  He's attentive and adoring, and I miss him.

The next post will be about him and our story so far, my great adventure, and the grand time we spent together.

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