Monday, December 14, 2009

Unexpected pain

I've taken some time to make this post. The event is over a week old, but this is the first I've been able to write about it, both physically and emotionally.

Ranger has watched over me beautifully. He stayed at the hospital, even when his sleeping accommodations were terribly uncomfortable. He comes to sit with me each day at home. We watch TV together, talk, have lunch and dinner. He hangs out with Daughter and I when she gets home from school, too. If I need anything, I mean anything, he's the one getting it for me and helping me move around. See, my room is upstairs. Once I climbed those stairs when I got home, we knew I'd be there for a few days before I'd be able to brave the stairs again.

On December 7th ("...a day that will live in infamy..."), he was getting ready to leave my house, to finish some work at home. It was starting to snow outside.

"I wish I could take you up the road by my house, to a quiet place up there, where we can see the whole valley. And we could climb in the back and cuddle up, and enjoy the snow coming down. And each other." Maybe when I'm better.

I stood by him and we held each other, saying goodbye. Our normal banter when parting goes like this:

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too," he says.

"For always?"

"For always," he says. "And in all ways."

I added something this time. "Only for me?"

He smiled. "Only for you."

And off he went. When he got home, he wrote this message:

"ok... so the dreams... first one was minutes after I fell asleep. I drempt that you came back into my room... wearing a big towel. You closed the door and said I put this on, because I think you are finally someone that can truely appricate me in this... and dropped the towel... and you were wearing what I think is your camo lingere. I woke back up looking for you!!!

"Second dream was I was taking you somewhere... store or something. We rushed through the errand, and then drove up the road... up into the snow and storm... until we were socked into the clouds. We got in the back of my suv and made mad passionate love until snow covered all of the windows

"I hope you enjoyed me as much as I enjoyed you. It was so nice to be with you, you sexy beautiful thang!"

That's something else, eh? The kind of thoughts and feelings every girl wants her man to think, feel, and express to her. Wowee!

But there's one little problem.

I don't own camo lingerie.

This message was not written to me.


Poindexter said...

surely just a misunderstanding...I have to believe it was written to you

Little T said...

I am so incredibly sad to hear that. I hope you are doing ok and taking care of yourself.

CheekyDani said...

Have you spoken with him? Surely it's a mistake?? Please be a mistake... :(

Blogget Jones said...

Yes, we've spoken. Daily. It's not a mistake. Well, not in that it was supposed to be for me.... It *was* written to another woman. A 23-year-old single mother of two toddlers, who rents one of the rooms where he lives.

I'll write another post about this. It's been a heart-wrenching week.

~ellen~ said...

Oh, no. I'm so sorry.

Poindexter said...

I'm very sorry.

Angella Lister said...

I'm so sorry, Blogget. Sending love.

Anonymous said...

No, no, no! Not after everything you two have already been through and after all the promises he has made. Thinking of you.

Blogget Jones said...

Thank you all. I'm feeling many virtual hugs, and they're much needed.

Hugging back!!