Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Okay, so I might be....

....wrong. That might have actually been an imminent proposal.

In about two months, I have to go to another conference. In Las Vegas.

For a few days, Ranger has been giggling about an "Evil Plan" he's working on. He says that and does the "mwuhaahaahaaa!" thing.

Here's what little I knew, originally:

(1) He's driving with me to Las Vegas. We're leaving early so we can see things on the way.
(2) He was really touched by a scene in "Braveheart," where the romantic leads see no reason to wait to be together, so they go off and have a private wedding, something meaningful between the two of them, not meant for the world. Ranger was touched by the reasoning and the phrasing of the scene.

...I think you're following me here....

You might even have that shiver up your spine that I had, but I thought....nahhhh....he wouldn't....

But yeah....I learned what the "Evil Plan" was.

As he put it, "I feel like I've lost so much time in my life looking for you, and now that I've found you, I don't want to waste a moment more." Ranger was going to have everything in place ahead of time, so that while we were in Vegas, he would ask me to make the leap with him....and if I agreed, we'd have an official ceremony with just us....and then plan another for the rest of the world.

Okay....can everyone say it with me? WHOA.

So, I've been thinking. A lot. And I have two major concerns with this idea.

First, my ex married his second wife without telling anyone. The kids' opinions didn't matter, and neither did their presence. They met her on a Tuesday. Hated her. I talked to him the following Monday, when he asked what they thought. I was honest. His response? "That's too bad. I married her on Saturday." I do not want to make them feel how that did.

Second, before his divorce, Ranger had been planning to renew his vows with his now-ex in Las Vegas, during the same time frame that it-just-so-happens that we'll be there. I need to make sure this isn't driven by some sense of irony he has, that he would remarry during that time instead. And how much that would completely cheese off his ex.

So, I'm in deep thought. We know we need to talk about this, and he's totally open to my thoughts. I'll keep you posted, dear diary, on how the discussions go.


Walker said...

I guess you could have a practice run without really getting married and the real one later.
It sot of gos with what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Also you do have to ask yourself if you want to do something he had planned with his EX wife and not unique to you but the biggest part I guess would be having your kids present for the real thing and not some make believe wedding because that's what it would actually be if you were married already.

Their presence would acknoledge their approval and you would be telling them their opinion does matter in this new phase of all your lives.

~ellen~ said...

That was a sweet and beautiful scene in the movie, but you are real-life and way more complex and complicated than a character in a movie. I think this guy sounds very sweet and very romantic, but I think you should really think hard (about yourself, your children, and him) before doing anything legally binding.

It's such a lovely fantasy, though. :)

Good luck and have fun, whatever you decide.

Groovy Mom said...

Whoa is right! I think you're wise to consider your kids. My ex-b-i-l married his now-wife without his kids being invited to the wedding and they were horribly hurt.

Lady in red said...

I think you are right ro have reservations on both parts. Perhaps now that he knows he will come up with something equally romantic that will sit better with you all.

Blogget Jones said...

You are all very, very right. This is exactly what I've been thinking! He and I are trying to find time to talk seriously and privately about this. As much as I love him, I think this would be a very poor start for us.

Thank you all for your advice and support!

:o) BJ