Friday, April 14, 2006

Survey says....!

Sometimes, when your life seems it's darkest, a little trash TV is just the salve you need.

I was watching Family Feud last night. Man oh man, did Richard Karn have his hands full! On one side was a family dressed in pseudo-matching gold shirts/blouses (except for one fella who opted for a flashy gold satin, yeah). On the other side was a family who thought wearing hillbilly teeth on national, syndicated TV was a capital idea.

The gold shirt people handled most of the play time, but the hillybilly teeth kept stealing the points. By the end of it, I laughed my head off and felt a tad better for it. Sometimes, it's just unbelievable how stupid people can make themselves look to an entire nation.

Richard: "Name something with the word 'sponge' in its name or title."
"Spongebob!" Good answer! Good answer! "Survey says...." ::ding::
"Sponge bath!" Good answer! Good answer! "Survey says...." ::ding::
"Sponge cake!" Good answer! Good answer! "Survey says...." ::ding::
"Sponge nose!" Good answer! Good answer!

... Richard looks astonished....

"Survey says...." ::RRRR:: Strike one!
"Sponge cleaner!" Good answer! Good answer!

... Richard looks a little baffled....

"Survey says...." ::RRRR:: Strike two!

Richard to Satin Shirt: "Okay, you have two strikes. Your opponents are set to steal if you miss this answer. What'll it be?"

Satin Shirt: "Well, Richard, if I-uz in trouble with the law, I'd want my record..." Get ready for it. "...esponged."

Richard Karn had the best "WTF?" face I've ever seen, as the gold shirt family hollered "Good answer! Good answer!"

Hillbilly teeth stole the points and won the round. Shock and awe.

I saw the second best "WTF?" face when Satin Shirt was in the same one-more-strike-and-you-lose position and was asked to name a country that people admire. Canada is on the board. France, Italy, England.

And Satin Shirt says, (I'm seriously not making this up) "Europe!"

For a moment, I wondered how this man made the team. Then I heard to enthusiastic chorus of "Good answer!" and knew all I needed to.

Not that the Hillbilly Teeth family was much better, mind you. In the bonus round, they made 72 points (you need 200). Highlight:
"Name something you see at the side of the road."

And the man was emphatic about it. Evidently, the survey people haven't been to his neighborhood.

Okay, so I know I shouldn't laugh at stupid people. They can't help it. But I needed the laugh and they were on national TV. Better than chicken soup.

---- Update: No kidding, I heard this one the other day: "Name something people stick pins in." Answer: "Their eyes." Wow.

No comments: