Thursday, February 23, 2012

The absolute end of Ranger and Blogget

Of course, Ranger and I have been romantically over for a long time.  I maintained contact with him for a couple of reasons; he owed me money and he had one of my phones.  He kept promising to reimburse me for part of the Missouri trip.  That was part of the original deal, but then he just didn't get the income he expected.  The bold truth?  That financially obliterated me.  I incurred debt related to that and relied on his word to help with it.  My mistake, and I admit it.  I feel completely stupid for that, and many other things now.  More on that later, though.

He had one of my phones because we'd moved his cell phone to my account.  It was cheaper that way, and he reimbursed me for the $20 a month it cost.  He continued to do that after we split up, on the understanding that he'd be getting his own phone when he started receiving disability.

One day, he shows me this picture of a tiny baby, hooked up to tubes.  He tells me about a family he met while doing community service hours - a woman with a teenager daughter, who was the product of rape, and the daughter was pregnant by a rapist.  Tragic.  And he's been helping them out with the woman's younger children while other family crises were happening.  Noble of him, yes?

The baby is born premature and ill, thus the picture.  He helps while they spend time at the hospital.  He tries to date the woman, but she stands him up to go home with a guy she met at the bar where she and Ranger were supposed to have their date.  A few weeks go by, and the baby dies.

Here's where it really gets weird.  Ranger is totally devastated by this.  He starts talking about the funeral. He's supposed to create a slide show for the baby's funeral, but the baby's mother and the guy who thinks he's the father can't agree on the music.  Did you catch that?  The guy who thinks he's the baby's father.  I thought the story was this was a rapist?  Changing stories are big ol' red flags.

So, Ranger makes this slide show.  A half-hour slide show about a newborn who lived only a few weeks.  And he's totally torn up over this.  "I'm going through something really difficult," he says, one evening when he's looking for sympathy from me.

I said to him, "When you say that, it sounds like it was one of your own children."  I said it to give him some perspective, but as I said it...something new occurred to me.

Was this his baby?

The pieces of things he said, and other contradictions, began falling into place.  I have no way of proving it, but my gut says this fits.  It's the only way his behavior at the time makes sense.  The baby's mother is 16.  The whole thing makes me nauseous.

Time to sever ties with Ranger, debt or no debt.

I start telling him I need the phone back.  It's time for him to have his own account.  He stops answering me.  No texts, no calls.  I try emailing.  No answers.

Coincidentally, I start getting emails that someone is trying to request a new password on my cell account.  Yeah, coincidentally.  I let the cell company know about this, and they tighten the security on my account.  No changes can be made without talking to me specifically.

I go into my account and restrict that phone.  I block all texts and data access, and allow only phone calls to and from my number.

Guess what?  I get an email.

"I'm in Denver looking for work.  And my phone won't work at all!"

No shit, Sherlock.  I wonder how that happened?

I told him how that happened and why.  You can't take off with my property and ignore me.  He says when he'll be back and says he'll return the phone then.

That date comes and goes.  Nothing.

So, I call up the cell company and let them know, that phone has been stolen.  They shut down service to it.

I send Ranger an email.  You're carrying around a phone that's been reported as stolen.  Good luck with that, especially if your on-probation-ass is caught with it.

The next day, I'm at work and go to talk to my boss.  I'm away from my desk for about 10 minutes.  When I get back, there's a box on my desk.  The phone is in it.

Does that creep out anyone else?  The timing is too coincidental.  He almost had to be watching me, to find a moment when he could slip in without talking to me.

Coward.  Asshole coward.

It's a nice phone, so I decide to activate it on my daughter's line.  Before handing it off to her, I decide to make sure it's clean of all of Ranger's stuff.  Good thing I did.  He left several months worth of nude and pornographic pictures of himself and other women on the phone.  Some were dated from before we split.  Some were really young-looking, too.

I reset the phone to factory specs.  Daughter is over-the-moon happy with it.

To avoid extra charges, I had Ranger's old number reactivated on Daughter's old phone.  The contract runs out in October, which I will let quietly expire.  Instantly, I start getting calls and texts and photos from all sorts of women.  Some are asking why he hasn't contacted them.  I explain to each one who I am and why he doesn't have the phone anymore.  And I start hearing the stories.

Many of them met him online and then spent "romantic" weeks and weekends with him.  Then, he stopped communicating with them.  He got sex and money from them, then dropped them.  His job-hunting trip to Denver?  Not job-hunting.  It was one of these rendezvous.  All I can tell them is, I'm sorry, and go get tested.

What a class act.  There's absolutely nothing redeeming about this man.  He's complete scum.  I'm so ashamed of how profoundly stupid I've been.

I've spent months having flashbacks to times that were not what they seemed to be.  Good times that now seem to be little more than a ruse.  He also got what he wanted from me.  Bled me dry in several ways.  It's going to be another few months before I recover financially from all the ways he took advantage of me.  I've found ways he's stolen from me, too.  Materially, financially, intimately, self-respect.

This is hard for me to see, what a fool I've been.  It's completely humiliating.  It makes me sick on so many levels.  I'll never see him again, but the scars are there.  Jacob is so sweet to hear me rail against all of this, and still hold my hand, say he loves me, and that he understands.  We do that for each other, actually.

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