Monday, August 31, 2009

Cloudy with a chance of sunshine

So, here's the cloudy part:

I'm feeling a little spiritually downtrodden today. It's a cumulative effect, I think, of pain and stress.

Tomorrow is Ranger's next court date. Trying to psyche myself up for it. I'm calm and collected when I'm at the courthouse and such, but inside I'm just screaming and wanting to run around like a crazy woman, unloading all of the frustration and angst about this into the sky.

But no, the only indication that you'll get that I have something twisting inside is that my hair is also twisted, crazy, curly.

Then it'll be over. And the consequences will begin. I don't know that I fully fathom those yet. But I do know that I still believe in Ranger. He screwed up. Big time. But he wants the better life that I want. And as long as he steps up to that plate and does his part to make it work, then I'll still believe.

For awhile, that walking-on-eggshells feeling is going to be with me, though. I have to learn that he's not going to shake my foundation again. And he understands that, too, which is important.

And speaking of believing in people....I don't believe in dear Greg. I had a hunch. I followed it. And I found him lying to me again. Remember the asking for money thing? The last try was "I need a loan because if my phone gets cut off, I can't pick up shifts, and I'll stay homeless."

I sent nothing. So, I get this: "So, my phone is going to be off until the first. I miss you and can't wait to talk to you again!"

I tested those waters during the "outage." The phone wasn't out. I know how a phone on Sprint behaves when it's been cut off. He doesn't know I know this. So, he pretends it's out. He just thinks I'm worrying about him being homeless and out of touch, and he thinks it's a good idea to let me worry. And misses me? I don't think so.

So, I busted him. How did he react?

He made up a new lie.

I busted that one. What did he do?

He made up yet another lie.

I told him to cut the shit. I'd heard enough. I've supported him in all ways I can and will, and I get lied to. Repeatedly. I am not an idiot. I am not a fool. And I won't be treated like one.

Was there an apology? No. He stayed silent yesterday. This morning, I get a text:

"I threw my back out and couldn't walk for four days. So, I really need help now, if you could send me something...."

Really? I mean, WTF, dude?

I don't think that I'll hear from Greg anymore, as he's finding my pockets - and other parts of my pants - remain closed.

So, want to see the sunshine now?

I have a colleague in Ohio who is retiring. She's been a mover and shaker in our industry, and I really respect her. We've worked together in a national organization, and she recently sent her retirement announcement to that group's email list. I sent my congratulations to her and said I'd miss her, but asked that she please keep in touch.

She replied and said, "Of course I'll keep in touch with you! I consider you one of the best up and coming young professionals in our field."

Blink. Blink. Really?

How cool is that?

I can put the umbrella away for a few moments to warm my face in this ray of sunshine.

5 comments:

Ronjazz said...

Well...it was unsolicited and honest. You earned the kudo, every bit. Sometimes we hear or see something in our lives that makes up for a little of the mayhem. Good for you, honey.

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

I will be thinking of you tomorrow! I hope it all goes well and that the consequences are reasonable. And WOOHOO for the compliment!

(And you'll be in Denver, right? If you get a chance, hit Dozen's for lunch - it is between 13th and 14th Avenue on Acoma - down by the art museum. Great place for a casual breakfast/brunch/lunch.)

Angella Lister said...

It's always great to glimpse how others see us. And I hope all goes well tomorrow. This, too, will pass, so just head on through to the other side.

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

You know I've gone to court to watch my man stand up and take it, so lordy lordy I wish you and he the best of luck. There's nothing to say to make you calmer, just isn't, but hey, take heart and remember me and C. we stuck it out through the jail time probation and now another country - true love MEANS something, just go with it and a year from now you can forget this shit.

AND Super - Yay Miss Up And Coming !!!!

Blogget Jones said...

Thank you, friends!

It went all right, and I'll blog the details.

F and F - Thanks for the recommendation! I'll keep that for next time -- I didn't see it in time :o( We had dinner at Buckhorn Exchange and lunch at the Cherry Cricket. Love those places, too!

Thanks!
BJ