Layers of my stress

At breakfast with Ranger this morning, I counted the layers of my stress. Wow, was that a bad idea. Now, it's all I'm thinking about.

Oh, and he added to it. Reluctantly, but still. His job has been going great. Promotions, etc. He expressed a concern the other day that the owner was sinking money into her other business and not this one. He was seeing important bills not being paid. Apparently, an hour after that conversation with me, he was told the store is closing. In a week. Great.

So, let's count that as Stress #1. On to Stress #2. I've mentioned that my office is now located in the VP's suite of offices. This is the Student Affairs office, where students come to ask questions, complain, and generally have meltdowns. From my corner of the world, I can't hear people coming in the door unless their drama continues into the office space. And that's okay with me. My work is not at all related to this department, and I have no clue how to help them.

The other day, the Assistant VP said something that bugged me. She came back from lunch early to find that the door to the suite was locked, and I was the only one there. Now, I didn't lock the door. The last person out for lunch locked it because no one was there. I got there a little while later, apparently, and left the door locked. I mean, I can't hear someone come in and I can't help them, anyhow.

So, anyhow, she said to me, "Now that you're in this office, you'll have to step up and come out here to help people when they come in. If you hear the door, you need to see who it is and say, 'How can I help you?' and see what you can do for them."

Uhm, step up? "How can I help you?" WTF?!?! I know nothing about what they do or the questions they answer. It's a different department. I don't work in their department and I didn't ask for my office to be put there.

One way or another, I need to address this with my boss. However, I'm thinking the best option is (as much as I hate it) to move me again. We have new offices in a new building, on the same hall as many professors I work with. It might be worth it to move again, rather than have a politically-damaging "discussion" with the Assistant VP.

Stress #3: My ex-husband is here, visiting. Got here this morning. I've had to act as his GPS on the phone for the last couple of hours, but I haven't had to see him yet. He'll be here until Sunday. I feel all my defenses up, looking for where the next ambush will happen. I cleaned the house and removed anything he likes to think should be his. There's a box in my closet now, with all these things hidden away.

Stress #4: Son is having oral surgery next week. The thing is that his first root canal of the year maxed out my dental plan and his dad's. We had $117 of coverage left. Anything beyond that comes out of my pocket and my ex's. Then, the second root canal happened. And now he needs a "crown lengthening" and all four wisdom teeth (which are impacted) removed. And another filling. I'm sooooo broke. For something like....forever.

Here's a good side note: Drama Queen was throwing a pout last night and my mother asked her what was wrong. She was upset about Son's surgery...but not for the reason you might think. "He's having surgery next week," she said. "But I don't know anyone else at school yet. He'll be gone and I won't have anyone to hang out with!" Isn't her unselfishness overwhelming?

Stress #5: I noticed son freaked out every time I went near his bathroom. And when his grandmother went near it. She saw him take something from there and hide it in his room. Now, he and I have established that his room is fair game. I can and will go looking if I feel a suspicion. The thing is that whenever I get that suspicious feeling, I always find something. Kind of like with Old BF.

So, I looked. Drama Queen is an artist, if I haven't mentioned that before. What I found were some very hardcore pornographic drawings by her, including one that was extremely disturbing in it's sexual violence and gore. Very upsetting. Very disturbing. I'm worried over these. I also found his wallet. With a condom in it. Now, the package is worn as though it's been there a long time. However, this is the wallet I bought for him in May, so that's the longest it could have been there.

I put the drawings in a locked portion of my desk. I took a Sharpie and marked a corner of the condom package. If I look later and find that mark is missing, then I know the one I found has been removed. Son has lately claimed to be "trying really hard" to start making smart choices, so we'll see how this goes.

I'm not going to confront anyone about these things until after my ex is gone (because his answer is "just cut it off"), and probably after Son's surgery. So, I have about a week to figure out what to do. I have to tread carefully. Son is rather volatile. DQ has a heavy influence on him. I really have to think this out. Obviously, nothing I've tried so far has gotten through to these kids. And what's coming from her head is really disturbing, and Son is keeping it around.

SO worried.