Monday, April 07, 2008

Saturday night on the hill

Ranger wanted to cook dinner for me Saturday night. So, about 3:00 that afternoon, I hit the road. The drive is really an easy one, with a four-lane divided highway most of the way. Only the last leg is a two-lane highway. And I really tried to not speed. I set the cruise at 4 miles over the speed limit. I didn't push it beyond that. Well, not much....

He was working and would be off at about 5:00. A group was at the Point, getting ready for an 8:00 astronomy program. "We'll have to make an appearance in public," he said. He's starting to bring me further into his world, introducing me to coworkers. He's very private about his personal life, so cluing in the world at large is a big deal.

And he's starting to tell his ex-wife about me. The boyfriend she broke up their marriage for has dumped her. She's been fishing with Ranger for an opening to work things out. She's saying she made a mistake by getting the divorce. He's saying yeah, you did...but it's too late. He told her he's met someone who he finds "fascinating" and really hopes something comes of it.

"I wish you'd felt like that about me," she said.

"I did," he said. "I tried, but you wouldn't have it." And he's moved on. She's put him through the ringer the last couple of days. She calls constantly, leaving messages about "why am I so unlovable?" Pushing the pity buttons. He's done well with it, telling her to keep trying, but not letting her get a foot in the door.

He tells me about these conversations, and reassures me that he has no desire to return to that life. "I never realized how bad I felt, until you showed me how good it is to be appreciated. And to appreciate someone else," he said.

He understands enough of my history to know that this situation with his ex is just the kind to bring up some insecurities in me, and he wants to help me not feel that way. So, he talks openly about these conversations, letting me know that the buttons she's trying to push are not working.

I left my house at 3:20 PM and arrived at the entry station at 5:05. His buddy Mike is working the station, and is smiling at me as I pulled up. He's laughing and looking at his watch.

"He said to get after you for speeding if you got here before 5:20," he said. "And it's not 5:20!"

I took off my sunglasses and batted my eyelashes at him. "Would I do that? Speed? Me?"

He laughed and said, "He should be home by now. He's excited to see his girlfriend." And he flashed a knowing grin at me.

I said I'd see him later, and headed to the ranger residences. So, Mike knew me as Ranger's girlfriend already. Sounds like word was already getting around the coworkers.

I could hear music from Ranger's apartment when I pulled up. When I walked in, I was greeted with a loud, "Hi Beautiful!" and a large hug. It had been about 48 hours since I last saw him, but he held onto me like it had been months.

He directed me to the recliner in front of the 42" high definition TV. He has a 400-disc DVD changer and 120 gig of music hooked into his entertainment system. My dream setup. "Sit here," he said. "There's something I want you to see."

He started up the DVD and Blue October filled the screen. It's footage from a concert. Their last number of the set. What we watched was a beautiful live rendition of "18th Floor Balcony," the song that reminds him of the day he told me he loves me. As they released snow over the stage at the end of the song, I looked at Ranger and saw tears in his eyes. "Beautiful, isn't it?" he asked me, and squeezed my hand tight.

I watched him in the kitchen, making fajitas for our dinner. He loves to cook. When I brought out my green Tabasco sauce, Ranger says, "Look at that! You are a Texas girl!" Dinner is delicious, and we settle in to watch some movies. Well, Robot Chicken's Star Wars episode and Family Guy's "Blue Harvest" spoof of Star Wars. We laughed our fool heads off, and I just soaked up every moment together. This evening felt absolutely delightful and comfortable. A night at home, just the two of us.

Would it be fortunate or unfortunate that we got so wrapped up in each other that we lost track of time? Next thing we knew, we'd missed the astronomy program. Dang.

He worried about me driving home. "Do you have water?" I didn't, so he made sure I had a gallon in my car, in case I had car trouble or something. We set up points at which I was to call, so he knew I was safe.

And he sent me home with gifts for my family. He'd combed through his storage of rocks, ones he'd dug and polished himself. He could sell these for literally thousands of dollars, but he was sending them to me and my children instead. And to my parents. He sent petrified wood, crystals, fossilized dinosaur bones, a huge GORGEOUS geode for me, and a very rare rock he'd cut and polished, which contained minerals in its depth that have not even been identified. Beautiful.

His generosity overwhelms me. I'm touched by everything he does, and this inspires him to do more because being appreciated is such a new sensation for him. "You inspire me every day," he tells me. "I want nothing more than to fill your life with love." And he does that in so many ways.


Sassy Mama Bear said...

So beautiful and loving. He sounds so good, I hope his ex does nothing to change that. You need to stay strong and remember to have some faith. Protect your heart a little too, I hate to think of you getting hurt. Love is a wonderous, yet fickle thing.
I am inching ever closer to 17 years with Papa Bear.

Anonymous said...

I agree with mama bear! He sounds so wonderful, caring and loving.

I hope this is your prince!


Pixie said...

This had me coming out in goose bumps....
I so want this to work for you.
You deserve it.
hugs pxx

Blogget Jones said...

Mama Bear: 17 years?! Wow! I'm jealous ;o) Thank you for your kind words and advice. Yes, he's very loving, and very much wanting to love me and be loved and appreciated in return. He's just about unbelievable!

Single: I do hope he is, too. Experience has taught me to watch for those red flags, but I'm not finding them yet. He's so giving...unlike anyone else I've been with.

Pix: oh, thank you! It's been just about a month...can you believe it? He's so lovely....