Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Bathroomisms

** WARNING: Part of this post has an EXTREME GROSS FACTOR. I'll warn you when it's about to hit so that the sensitive among you can avert your eyes. ***

Yes, indeedy, this post has a theme -- bathrooms. A few things happened recently that involved bathrooms, so I decided to go with the flow of synchronicity and mention them all in one post.

So, sit tight (haha) and here goes ;o)



Our old office building has a one-seater bathroom. So, if it was occupied, you waited in the hallway for it to be vacant again.

Now, I know everyone knows one of these people -- the kind who just can't find something nice to say. Ever. A complete sourpuss about anything going on. Well, I saw our resident Sourpuss waiting outside the bathroom one day. I try to introduce sunshine into this person's worls as often as possible, hoping it'll get through. She makes it tough sometimes.

Sourpuss: "I'll be so glad when we don't have to stand around in the hall anymore, waiting to pee."

Me (seeing a prime sunshine opportunity): "Won't that be nice? The pictures look great, with all that pretty tile and such. And there will be plenty of stalls for everyone."

Sourpuss: "Yeah, but it won't be private anymore, will it?"

Dang. Clouds over my sunshine again!


** WARNING: THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE GROSS FACTOR PART! If you're squeamish, skip to the next break. **

We have a beautiful, brand new bathroom at the new building. I'd post a picture so you can see how beautiful it is, but....that's just creepy. We are so appreciative of this building and the details (like pretty bathrooms) that give us such a wonderful place to work.

Well, most of us are. One of us is just dowright nasty.

I entered the beautiful bathroom the other day. I opened a stall and something caught my eye. The lovely tile wall was smeared with (**WARNING! GROSS FACTOR IMMINENT!**) blood. You could almost make out the handprint of whoever put it there. A could hurl just remembering it.

But the point is -- WTF is WRONG with some people?!?!


Switch from the nastiest of nasty to the proper.

Even bathrooms have etiquette. There are unspoken rules of community bathroom behavior. Things like, even if you can see through the gaps by the door, don't look. Knock on doors, don't try to open them. If there's no toilet paper in a stall, warn the woman about to enter it. Don't let you toddler peek under the walls.

And when the bathroom isn't crowded, respect some sort of perimeter of person space.

So, we have two rows of stalls now. I can't recall if it's eight or ten stalls, but there are plenty! I'm in the last one at the end of the row. The rest of the place is empty.

Now, if you were the next person entering the bathroom, which stall would you choose?

Or, more to the point, which stall would you NOT choose?

That's right -- you don't go for the one right next to the occupied one. Someone needs to inform the person who entered the stall right next to me.

Creepy.

(Or maybe it's just me and my chronic territorialism! But that's another blog.....)

2 comments:

Gingers Mom said...

Very funny post. I know people like the miss destroy-your-sunshine. They irk me.
What the heck is a bathroom for GROWN women doing smeared with blood?? It was on the floor?? Ever heard of a paper towel? Ick.

Blogget Jones said...

Oh, Sourpuss drives me up the wall! It's so hard to have a conversation with her. She's taken to sneaking up on me, too. I don't hear her in my office until she's right behind me. ARRGGHH! Hey, maybe she's reading this as I type....LOL She's also one of those geniuses who knocks on my Fishbowl window.

And I'm SO with you on the gross bathroom thing! It was on the WALL!! On the pretty new tile. Can't believe it. What kind of cavewomen do I work with?!