Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Learning to see

Ranger and I had a chance for a nice little getaway last week. We made it about two hours from home, scouting suitable places for that honeymoon we dream about.

We stayed in a couple of historic hotels, in smaller-town settings. One in particular was in a remote little town (population about 100 during the winter) called Redstone, surrounded by historic sites. Heck, the town itself is a historic site! You can take horse-drawn sleigh rides in the winter and carriage rides in the summer. The Redstone Inn is reputed to be haunted. The hotel is very strict with their non-smoking policy, and we didn't have neighbors around our room. However, Ranger and I each had the experience of smelling a strong scent of pipe tobacco on separate occasions in our room. Interesting because the hotel was originally used as quarters for bachelor miners working in the town.

The hotel is pictured above, as it looks about now, covered in snow. To say the place was cozy and romantic is an understatement. It has a tranquility and warmth that makes you just want to snuggle in and watch the snow fall all day. Our room was similar to the one below and was very reasonably priced at $79 a night. Actually, it's usually $89, but I'd booked a smaller room, and they upgraded us at no additional cost. Gotta love that.

We had dinner in their little restaurant that night. It was quite possibly the most romantic dinner we've ever had together. And beyond delicious. This little place has a marvelous chef!

Back at the room, I took some time to shower and unwind. When I came out of the bathroom, I found that Ranger had unpacked the suitcase with my lingerie in it. We've picked out quite a bit, but I haven't had the chance to wear all of it. He had warned me that I'd amassed a real "collection," but now I looked around the room to find each and every surface just dripping with lovely things to wear. Some we skimpy, some very sexy, and some cozy.

"We're tired, so we don't have to do this tonight," he said. "But I'd like to see you model these for me. I'd like to take some pictures of you in them."

"You would?" I said, wondering what kind of pictures he had in mind.

"Yeah. I want to take them and look at them with you, and show you what I see when I look at you."

But for that night, he picked out something soft and cozy for me to wear. Namely, a soft pink t-shirt and little fleece shorts -- which he apparently found just as sexy as satin and lace.

The next night, we moved north to Glenwood Springs, which you've heard me mention before. We've stayed at another historic hotel there, the Hotel Colorado, but we wanted to try out another one closer to "downtown" (which is still quaint and charming, in a town this size). Specifically, it's in the same block as our all-time favorite restaurant, Juicy Lucy's Steakhouse.

So, we moved on to the Hotel Denver. It's a little more pricey than Redstone, but worth it, in my humble opinion. The hallway worried me. The doors along the hallway seemed very...institutional. I opened our room's door and immediately saw a beautiful four-poster bed in the room, covered with a beautiful quilt. The room was furnished with lovely antiques and had hardwood floors. But what took my breath away was the window. A large, brightly-lit window of stained glass roses.

"This is it," Ranger said, staring at the beautiful colors streaming through the afternoon light. "This is where I want to take those pictures of you. With the light from that window."

He picked out some favorite pieces from my "collection." Things I had never worn before. They were satin and lace bustiers with matching panties, fishnet stockings, chiffon and embroidery. And no, I wasn't completely comfortable putting them on yet. When I looked in the mirror, I still saw the bits of me that I loathe. I wished the pretty things could hide me a little better.

But that's not what Ranger saw. After putting on each outfit, I turned to the mirror to see what was there. This lingerie was indeed beautiful and soft on my skin. I found out later that Ranger took candid photos of me looking in the mirror.

Maybe he read my expression, though, or the lines of my gaze. He stepped up behind me, in my reflection.

"Do you see how beautiful you are?"

I didn't answer.

"Here. Let me show you want I see." He turned me slightly, so I saw my back in the reflection. He put his fingers on my shoulder, tracing the curve of my body along my back, to my hip. "Look at this line. Look how beautiful that is. This is what I see."

He did this again and again, showing me how this pretty thing and that fit my body, and what his eye couldn't get enough of. In all, he took close to 50 photographs that day. In the photos, he pointed out to me how the light played along my curves, my face, my long curls.

I was literally seeing through his eyes. I tried on half a dozen "outfits." Finally, when I looked at a particular one in the mirror, I started to cry. I had turned to the mirror, and for the first time ever, I saw...beauty. Just simple beauty.

He took photos as I stared, running my hands lightly down my body, astonished by what I saw and felt. He posed me a couple of times. I smiled genuinely for the first time that day. The picture shows a seductive glint in my eye. He put down the camera.

"That's enough," he said. "No more today. This, now, is how I want you to feel when I make love to you."

And in those following hours, we learned to be just that much more thankful for each other.


Little T said...

I am so very excited for you to have seen what he sees! Just from reading your blog I know you are an amazing spirit. Let Ranger continue to show you yourself in a new light. You deserve to feel his adoration and love...and your own.

Ronjazz said...

It all takes its own time. I've known it from simply reading your words and talking with you. Keep yourself open, BJ. You'll see how utterly gorgeous you really are...:)

Blogget Jones said...

Little T -- you humble me, too. To be seen as an "amazing spirit" is also amazing to me! Thank you!

Ron -- Thank you, too! Your words of encouragement, including me in your thoughts and experiences, has helped me to keep that door in my mind open, too.
:o) BJ

Angella Lister said...

This is so lovely, this experience you share. Love endures when the vision you get of yourself through the other person's eyes is one you want to live with. Ranger is looking with eyes that love you and it is so wonderful that he helps you see your own beauty. Sounds like it was magical. I'm happy for you.

Blogget Jones said...

Thank you, Angella! This is helping to do a lot of healing, too. I've never seen myself like this, or even thought I could be seen in such a way. His devotion to me and making me feel how he loves me has been amazing. So far, so good....

:o) BJ