Mixed bag of Mother's Day

Mother's Day 2007.

Sucks.

Of course, it came as no surprise tht I would be alone on Mother's Day this year. I decided to make it one of those rare days when a mom gets to do only what she wants to do. I thought that would take the edge off of not actually being with my kids today. I miss them so much....

So, I rented a slew of movies that I'd wanted to see for some time, but hadn't gotten around to seeing. I picked out ones with boxes that said things like "heartwarming!", "charming!", "a great date movie!" I bought junk food that I usually don't eat and that I usually have to share when I have it at home. Today, I've had Pop Tarts, Jalapeno Poppers, and fresh chocolate chip cookies.

The food was better than the movies, so far. I just had to give it a rest before my toe ended up in the trigger. "A great date movie," my keister. I just wasted two hours watching two people torture each other in the name of love, and STILL didn't end up together. Where's my tidy, romantic, "heartwarming" and "charming" ending? If I want to experience a heart getting ripped out, I'll think more about BF....

To make matters worse, I'm having some trouble with my son lately. He's knee-deep in teenage angst. Unfortunately, this move has compounded that problem and given him something to angst about. He's decided to punish me whenever he can. He tries to hurt me. Today, he succeeded.

My daughter called this morning to wish me a happy Mother's Day. We chatted and she told me her brother was up, but not doing anything. He even picked up the extension while she was talking, but he said nothing. Mid-afternoon, my phone rings. It's my son, from his cell phone, and I can hear his dad in the background.

He muttered something that sounded vaguely like "hammy murray." I hear his dad's voice again. He speaks up. "Happy Mother's Day." We exchange a little "how are you?" "what are you doing?" I tell him it's a hard Mother's Day. He laughs at something his dad does. "I love you," I say. He grudgingly says it back. And that's it. His dad made him call and he's done.

Yeah, I needed help knowing what it was like to get my heart ripped out today.

So, I hung up the phone and cried.

While I'm sobbing, my phone rings again. I see it's my own mother. I clear up the cry voice and answer it. She just wanted to know how I was doing. On some level, she felt the ripple in the Mom-Force and knew I needed her. And there you have it - the good, the bad, and the ugly of motherhood.

Sometimes, it's a really good thing I don't drink.