Wednesday, June 03, 2009

An overdue update

I promised an update on South Carolina, and even left a teaser awhile back, but I never updated. So sorry, dear Diary!

Let's flashback for a moment. A refresher, if you will, especially for those who haven't followed SC's story. If this is you, might I suggest for your reading pleasure (I hope):

I really should learn.... (11-5-07)
One of my top ten embarrassing moments.... (11-6-07)
Not sure what to think..... (11-9-07)
Taking inventory (11-12-07)
Your input is needed (11-13-07)
A hard day across the board (11-20-07)
Things that make me smile today (11-23-07)
All the news that fits (12-5-07)
News little and big (12-10-07)
Murphy's Law (12-12-07)
Is something in the air? (8-26-08)
Reply vs. Reply to all (12-25-08)
South Carolina update (11-02-08)
Small update (11-18-08)
Something new to worry about (2-20-09)
Bad, Blogget. Bad, bad, bad. (3-19-09)

Whew. That's quite a list. It's not as bad as you think -- some of those just have a small paragraph about SC.

So, health-wise, he's okay. Relationship-wise, I think he's messed up. And I think he knows it, too. I'll explain....

To recap, his marriage broke up because his wife cheated on him. Then, she had the stroke that stole her memory of their break-up. More recently, he's been trying to get back together with her, on and off. He said she's too high maintenance. He's tired of her freak-outs. He actually deleted his Facebook page because she had a freak-out over him having female friends. Ironic, yes? He put it back up a couple of weeks later.

So I woke up to a beep-beep-beep the other day. It was nearly 5:00 AM and my phone was telling me I'd missed a message. Seriously?

I'd actually missed three messages. A voicemail that came in at 2:45 AM, and two texts. Seriously? Apparently, my ringer was too low.

And all the messages were from SC. The voicemail said, "Hey, you said I could call you anytime if I needed to talk. So, I'm calling. I can't sleep and need to get some advice. Call me."

At 2:45 AM. My time. That's 4:45 AM SC's time. WTF?

I called. We chit-chatted for a bit, but I knew he couldn't have called for that. "I have a relationship problem," he finally said. "I could use some perspective."

"So, I've been seeing my ex, you know?" Yes, I know. "And it's been rocky, but she's ideal. My perfect woman, right? So, we're trying. Exclusive and all, you know?"

Got it. Perfect woman is high maintenance. Got it.

"But there's been some things lately that don't make sense. Secretive stuff. I had this feeling something was going on. So, I had a look and I found her profile on a dating site. I mean, there wasn't a picture or anything, but the profile just sounded like her."

"Okay, are you sure it's her?"

"Here's the thing. I made up a profile and contacted her. We emailed back and forth, and she told me more about her. Never mentioned she was dating anyone. Then, I asked for her picture, and she sent it last night. It's her."

"Ouch. I'm so sorry. I know exactly how that feels." I told him the story of finding Old BF's profile on, with the subject line "Bored to tears with my current relationship." The still hurts to say it.

"Yeah, you understand! I knew you would. So, what do I do? Do I confront her?"

"Certainly. SC, you gotta know what's going on. With her history, you have to know if this is what you're in for. Then, you have to decide if you can live with it. I couldn't. That constant wondering, waiting for the other shoe to drop, is exhausting. And it hurts to know you've been betrayed. Like now. Your trust has been violated. Will it happen again?"

He was quiet for a moment. "You're right. I'm always going to wonder what's happening behind my back. I have to talk to her today. She's going to be mad that I contacted her as someone else."

"Let her be mad," I said. "Don't let her divert you from the point, that she has been lying to you."

He sighed, but stayed quiet for a bit. When he spoke, his voice was small.

"This hurts," he said. His tone broke my heart.

"I know, babe. I really do. And I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this." And he doesn't. He's such a sweet man.

Later, I texted to check on him. No answer. No emails or Facebook messages, either. And she's still on his page, and he's still "In a relationship."

Did he decide to not confront her? It's possible. He might have decided to live with it. In any case, he knows I don't like it. I don't like him being hurt. Nothing came of our fling romantically, but he's a good friend. I don't like him being hurt.

I don't like anyone being hurt. At the root is usually the same three things -- selfishness, dishonesty, and disrespect. I've seen too much of that.


Anonymous said...

That's really a shame because he sounds like a really great guy! I sometimes regret not having dated more before getting married, but then I realize how lucky I am to not have had to deal with situations like these. (Though almost anything is worth it if you learn from it.)

Ve said...

Um okay . . .
I've only just started reading your blog . . . last week to be exact.
I've read the whole thing now.
From the beginning . . .
all of it.

Wow, your life is so much like a novel. I don't know if it's your writing style, or the fact that Harlequin like things just seem to happen to you . . . but I'm a tad miserable now.

I started from THIS post, and find myself back here again, and was hoping that by the time I got back here you'd have updated ye ole' blog with another post . . . but alas t'was not meant to be.

I need to know how this novel turns out - despite the fact that it is not, in fact, a novel and you have no idea how things will end.

Blogget Jones said...

F and F -- I know what you mean!! And yeah, it's a shame for SC. He's a nice guy and deserves better than he's getting.

Ve -- You did a lot of reading! Wow! And I'd like to know the ending, too....LOL!

:o) BJ